Introducing the Roadmap Randomiser™: The Future of Product Management

Let chaos theory determine your next quarter's priorities

Dear Product Breaks Community,

We're thrilled to announce the launch of our revolutionary new product planning tool: The Roadmap Randomiser™. After years of research and development, we've created a solution to the age-old problem of roadmap prioritisation.

The Science Behind the Randomiser

The Roadmap Randomiser™ integrates seamlessly with your current workflows, using our proprietary "Butterfly Effect Engine" to model complex interactions between features that human minds simply cannot comprehend. By applying randomised weighting to stakeholder input (influenced by phases of the moon and local barometric pressure), it generates surprising feature combinations that conventional human bias would never consider.

Key Benefits Our Beta Customers Are Raving About

• Proven Results: Statistical analysis shows that random prioritisation outperforms deliberate planning by a remarkable 17% based on our study of 500 startups across three continents

• Elimination of Decision Fatigue: Say goodbye to agonising over prioritisation matrices

• Perfect Plausible Deniability: "The algorithm decided!" becomes your new favourite phrase in stakeholder meetings

• Advanced Excuse Generator: Produces compelling, jargon-filled explanations for seemingly random priorities that will impress even the most sceptical executives

What Our Beta Users Are Saying

"After implementing the Roadmap Randomiser, our team stopped arguing about priorities completely. Now we just blame the algorithm and get on with building whatever it tells us to." — Sarah J., Director of Product at TechStartupX

"The Randomiser suggested we build a feature we had explicitly rejected three times in planning. It's now our most popular offering. I've stopped trusting my own judgment entirely." — Mark T., CPO at Enterprise Solutions Ltd

Pricing Plans

• Dice Roller (Free tier): Basic randomisation with limited excuse generation

• Chaos Agent (£49/month): Full feature set including stakeholder confusion metrics

• Executive Whisperer (£199/month): Advanced capabilities including automatic PowerPoint generation to justify random decisions to your board

Ready to Revolutionise Your Roadmap?

Click the link below to be among the first to access this groundbreaking tool and receive a complementary "It Wasn't My Decision" t-shirt with your subscription.

Visit The Roadmap Randomiser™ and start your chaotic transformation!

Warm regards,

The Product Breaks Team