Get In Touch with the Toddler In You

As the father of a toddler, I have wearily become accustomed to a long list of questions I have to answer daily. “Papa, why is my chair here?”, “Papa, what you doing?” “Papa, where is Mama?” “Papa, what song is that?”. Generally, I try to patiently answer these questions but I find that my answers do not always satisfy her curiosity or drive at the heart of what she’s hoping to get from me. When this happens, she pivots & reframes her questions, adds more expressions to stress home the point until I am brought to the same place of understanding.

Navigating the world of product management feels a lot like being a curious toddler. Just as a toddler bombards you with questions, seeking to understand their ever-expanding world, product managers are in the thick of it, constantly questioning how to navigate the path of progress, product iterations, and client relationships. The key, however, lies not just in asking questions but in improving the quality of these questions. How, then, can we refine our questioning techniques to gather deeper insights and drive decision-making in our day to day?

Embrace your inner toddler

Toddlers are experiencing the world for the first time. They are building their language and sensory skills. Akin to product management, where there is often the need to step into a new team, product, client engagement, or domain space. It is completely normal to experience feelings of being unsure, doubtful or questioning. A way to overcome this is to lean into your natural curiosity like you did when you were a child. Asking "why" & “what” helps you drill down to get to the root cause of a problem/need.  

Context is king

I have worked out a shortcut in my conversations with my daughter - I playback what she has asked me to make sure I’ve got it. Slowly but surely, everything starts to make sense, her words become clearer and voila! I’m on the same page as her. Applying this to product management, understanding the context around a question enriches the answers you receive. Before you ask, take a step back. Consider the broader situation, the goals at hand, and the perspectives of those you're questioning. Tailoring your questions to this context leads to more meaningful answers, steering you in the right direction. Much like explaining the world to a toddler, context shapes understanding.

Active listening

Have you ever noticed how a toddler reacts when they feel truly heard? Their eyes light up; they engage more deeply. Similarly, active listening is crucial for product managers. It's not just about the questions you ask but how you listen to the answers. This involves paying close attention, paraphrasing, and reflecting back on what you've heard to confirm understanding. It turns a simple Q&A into a collaborative dialogue, fostering stronger relationships and clearer insights.

Craft questions for clarity

Toddlers often ask surprisingly insightful questions because assumptions do not bog them down. How often do you stop yourself from asking questions because you do not want to come across as unintelligent or asking the dumb questions? I’ve found in my experience that people tend to start off questions by saying “apologies if this is a silly question” before going on to ask really well thought out questions.  As product managers, crafting clear, concise, and open-ended questions encourages expansive thinking and detailed responses. Avoid leading questions that could bias the answer. Instead, aim for questions that encourage stakeholders to think deeply and share openly, much like a toddler's free and open inquiries about the world.

Iterate on your questions

Just as a toddler's questions evolve with their understanding, so too should the questions of a product manager. Reflect on the responses you receive and the outcomes they drive. If something didn't work as expected, consider how the questions could be refined. This iterative approach ensures your questioning techniques grow in effectiveness over time, continually adapting to the ever-changing landscape of product management. For example, when digging into a problem space, we start with “what problem are we solving for?”. We can iterate that question to focus on “what are we trying to achieve?”, “what impact do we think this might have?”. By reframing our questions, we encourage the recipient to think a bit more deeply about the answers they give. 

In Summary

In essence, improving the quality of questions in product management is about channelling a blend of curiosity, strategic thinking, and empathy—much like navigating the world through the eyes of a toddler. It's a journey of constant learning, adaptation, and growth, leading to deeper insights, better decisions, and ultimately, more successful products.

Asking the right questions can often lead to surprising insights, deeper understanding, unlocks potential and innovative solutions. By embodying the relentless curiosity and open-mindedness of toddlers, combined with the strategic focus of a product manager, you open up a world of possibilities. Remember, the next time you’re “stuck” in a car with your toddler in the backseat throwing questions your way, they are just taking their first steps into product management. 

What are some tips you have found that have helped you in asking the right questions? Comment below.

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